The transition from a sheep to wolf Part 1

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    The transition from a sheep to wolf Part 1

    Being only 22 years old you would’ve thought I’ve had a drama free life partying in Magaluf or Ibiza, committing hell of acts of debauchery (Alcohol, Drugs & Sex), gone to University the whole shebang, probably with my generation even been the baby father of at least 2 different females but I digress. While the rest of my mates were starting families, graduating, travelling the world and living without any restraints I was on a prison wing with my 1 wing job doing 12years a slave mopping, sweeping, buffing u name it. All I was focusing on was my 1 hour gym sessions or if there’s going to be association and that was a daily occurrence from 16 years old to 3 months before my 22nd birthday.
    Let me round that up, I basically spent 6years in the canister (prison) for doing this “road ting” and was it worth it? Hell f#*@ing NO!, time waits for no man and that’s the God's honest truth because most people my age group have grown up and they’re doing bigger and better things but you still have those few exceptions in life that were bummy then and bummy now, we call them “sufferers” “wastemen in life” because they still have the same mentality from when I left them in 2010, smoke all day and doing F all with their lives their whole world revolves around the “hood”. Looking back on things the saying “If you don't hear you must feel” comes to mind had I heeded several warnings from different people I wouldn’t have gone through what I did at that young age because me doing “road” had a serious knock on effect that is still troubling me now. I’m going to share my life experiences with you all not to hype up the life of a “road man” but to set it as a deterrent to youngins finding themselves slipping down that path in life believe me I’ve got hella life experiences racked up on my shoulders and hopefully you can relate to them and make informed decisions after reading my story.

    1994

    This was the year that I was brought into this world, born in London to Nigerian parents. I was a very light skinned baby, I’m talking light mixed race to the point my Dad thought I was another man's son, can you imagine? Only when I started to darken up did the doubts start to evaporate he even jokes about it even till today “you better find that your father” he thinks he’s got jokes he’s a big man, but let’s stick to the main parts. I was born with a hole in my heart and a narrow valve which was corrected after multiple operations. When I was 1 year old I went to live with my Dad. From what my Auntie told me my Dad and Mum went their separate ways before my Mum knew she was pregnant with me and only got back together because of me, it was a recipe for failure evidently. My childhood was good as it goes, I grew up in a single parent environment living with just my Dad there wasn't any sort of female touch in any of the places we lived, let’s say I grazed my knee, there was no motherly response, no plaster, no bandage, or the option to “kiss it better”, I got the “oyah rub the baba ijebu soap on it to burn it” or he would pour Dettol on it, mad man. Living with my Dad certain times felt like living under a dictatorship it could be so regimented he was like a drill sergeant “do this”, “do that”, “clean the house”, “read book”, “stay inside” that was just how it was. Looking back at it I can see why my Dad did the things he did when I was younger because that's what he knew and how he was raised but that was in Africa we were in the U.K so I believe a different approach should’ve been taken.
    Being of Nigerian descent Church was a big part of my childhood I was raised on the 10 commandments by my Dad but ended up living a wild cowboy lifestyle, alcohol, fornication, violence all sorts and I’m the guy that went to church every Sunday as youth. To me Church was almost like a chore at that age because it was forced upon me, those African churches that start at 8 am then finished at 5 pm maaaad long. I’m not gonna lie at that age there’s only so much worship you can take till you feel it’s being forced down your throat and whatever is forced down your throat you end up throwing it back up.
    Growing up I never envisaged that I would encounter any problems with the law I was always mischievous as a youngster but never more than a prankster, I was in the top set for everything in primary school and my teachers thought I would go on to become a lawyer because not only did I have a way with words I also argued adults into submission even if I was wrong because I was good at it Lol. Being at primary school I was surrounded by all kinds of kids from different areas, backgrounds, ethnicities but majority of them came from two parent houses and I envied that because that’s what I lacked, at primary school I was popular, got good grades, was on the school athletic team but when I got picked up from school only one parent came for me whereas both parents came for my mates.
    My Mum and Dad’s relationship till this day if you can call it that is non-existent, communication skills were lacking, mutual understanding went out the window, their bitterness towards each other and their resentment was just evident even as a child, their whole not letting go of whatever it was that went on in the past rubbed off on me and I brought that mentality into my teen years. Probably you might think I’m an only child because I haven't mentioned any siblings so far but that's not the case, I’ve got 3 older brothers but I have a different Dad to them. I would say we are very close considering I never actually lived with them, I remember all the little things they did when I was younger like; taking me to the park; wipe my bum for me when I was too little to do it properly all these things I remember. Even doing my stint in prison they never abandoned me and I appreciate that because I’ve seen instances where certain big bros don’t want to know and just leave a man to his own devices.
    Being raised in any African household the key message is “Education” now with that and the decent upbringing that I had, you would have to ask where did I fall short? Because it clearly wasn’t in my pre-adolescent years, everything was hunky dory. I left primary school with such high expectations of myself, thinking that secondary school would be something easy. I was very naïve; I went into the “big bad” world with a pure heart rather than a cynical mind but was that a bad thing? No, definitely not nor at the time should I have thought so. I’m going to tell you in detail what happened to me that begun the transition from a sheep to wolf, but before I do I’ll give you a small piece of advice, never allow life experiences to change your core structure/beliefs only make them wisen you because you end up bitter and twisted then subsequently end up in mess I got into.

    Blogged by Mr. Direction